One of the most freeing feelings is the wind caressing my scalp as the wind tickles my coily tendrils. There’s nothing like a fresh wash with just enough moisturizer to add a little shine to my fro. Add a little mascara and lip gloss, and I just can’t stop smiling. And when the sun’s rays bounce off my melanin just right, it’s definitely a good day for a selfie photoshoot.
But it wasn’t always like that. I spent much of my childhood feeling conflicted about my natural texture. The minute a wave showed up near the roots, I ran to a relaxer box to straighten it out because kinky hair was nappy hair, and nappy hair was a problem. Such was the message around me on television and even in my daily life. Inside, I was fascinated with the natural hairstyles of Whoopi Goldberg, the still famous afro of Pam Greer, and the loss of Maxine Shaw (Ericka Alexander) on Living Single. But in South Louisiana, where I live, dark skin AND natural hair seemed taboo. So, I spent many more years perming, wrapping, curing, and setting pixie cuts and short bobs.
Upon completing my first big chop, my goddaughter still declares that she saw a change in my swag like never before. My walk had a little more sass, my language was a little more crass, and my taste in clothes stepped up a class. Truthfully, I had gotten to the root of my real insecurities and fell in love with myself.
A few days ago, an older black woman stopped me in the store to tell me how beautiful my hair was. She stared at it, and her eyes seemed to twinkle. I let out a light giggle and effortlessly thanked her. Then she said that she’d love to wear her hair like this. “You know, natural and full. But I don’t know. I don’t think it would look right.” Instantly, my mind flashed back to the years when I felt the same way. I looked her in the eyes and said, “Ma’am, GOD gave you that crown. Don’t ever be scared to wear it!” Her eyes widened for a second, and then, with a smile, she said, “You are right. Thank you!”
We often struggle to see how a lack of self-love and confidence is deeply ingrained in us. Finding love and comfort in our natural bodies and beauty is still a daily journey. We must lift each other up in love one natural loc of hair at a time.
“Ma’am, GOD gave you that crown. Don’t EVER be scared to wear it!”
-Jamie Mayes
Writer. Speaker. Culture Bearer 