Jamie Mayes, AOE

Archive for September, 2014|Monthly archive page

God Will Change the Kind of Tears You Cry

In Uncategorized on September 30, 2014 at 7:01 pm

This has been a long journey, unlike any other experience I have ever had in life- and I have had a lot of experiences. Some of them have been great, some not so great and the others have been a mixture of bitter and sweet. However, all experiences have required a piece of me that though I will reveal, I am always reluctant to share- my emotions. Pregnancy has been, perhaps, the most emotionally demanding experience I have ever and will ever have. I struggled to balance my logical side with my emotional side and decipher between what was hormonal and what were true feelings. In the end, though, there were some emotions that I could not deny- those connected to my struggles with an unplanned pregnancy.
For months, it seemed that my tears were interminable and that there could not possibly be a bright side to my situation because I only saw the things that I had failed to accomplish. I wallowed in sadness; I was drenched in emotional pain. I was lonely. I was depressed. I cried as often as my tears could be replenished. It seemed that there were no consolable words for me. Others saw the joy of my situation; I only saw the sadness of my situation. I asked for no sympathy; I wanted no sympathy. I was angry with myself.
Friends and family rallied in love and support, extending themselves as far as possible to help me find my smile. Still, beneath the smile were trembling lips and water wells being held back by thoughts that I should be more appreciative of what others were trying to do for me. Fake it until you make it, I kept telling myself. Faking it was not helping me, though; it would take a supernatural paradigm shift for me break free of the burden that troubled me. Finally, it happened.
After weeks of stressing over everything from financial woes to personal relationships Read the rest of this entry »

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