Jamie Mayes, AOE

Archive for April, 2014|Monthly archive page

Life for Life

In Culture, Uncategorized on April 4, 2014 at 4:12 am

I had been hoping for something new

Hoping that tags and stickers would feel my desires of a fresh start

And no matter how lost I was in the crowd

I could have never imagined I’d be the next one chosen to carry the torch

 

The fear of a demand so great brought sleepless night and worries

Feelings of guilt plagued me for I had predicted a different picture

Promising myself that I’d break the chain of unwed motherhood

Struggling for years to control the urges that seemed to come so naturally

 

I down played and delayed love in efforts to assure that my plan succeeded

However a lesson God had been teaching for years was so clearly whispered my ear-

I have no control over this life, nor the one within

I can only eagerly embrace the experience that lies ahead

 

Slowly the anticipation of something new is growing

Like the round small bump beneath my loose blouse

And each day the hope of holding a little body is becoming real

Each night prayers are solicited for tiny digits and organs that fit together perfectly

External worries have diminished to internal frets to do everything right

No longer for the world but now only for the one who will matter most

For despite the unknown and unanticipated changes that await

I am I honored to carry within the blessing of life.

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